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America’s Widow® In Myth & Legend    

What can’t we recall about Eternal Former First Lady Nancy Reagan?

A chronicle of her death foretold!

Barack Obama’s shocking reference to Nancy’s astrology interests.

How Nancy pioneered fashion grifting, clearing the path for Sarah Palin.

With the Reagan Library running out of things to say, Nancy came to the rescue with a show about the many fancy dresses she somehow acquired during her Washington years.

Nancy’s Sacramento Legacy: California’s homeless Governors.

How the Reagan Library, Nancy Reagan Impresario, managed to bring cult religion to a 9/11 memorial.

When Nancy paused from Reagan monument unveiling to pile up more cash for the Reagan Library, the most grotesquely overstuffed of our nation’s presidential mausoleums.

That time Nancy teamed up with a noted Congressional whorehound to get Ronnie’s statue into the Capitol building on the double.

When she worked to squeeze out naysayers, or anyone independent, from the Reagan centennial Commission.

How the Reagan Library found room for Nancy’s dresses, notes from Ronnie and a god damn Boeing 707, but somehow can’t cover Iran-Contra because it lacks “freshness.”

Her Saudi diamond trove.

How love of her life Ronald Reagan was bonking Doris Day in the runup to marrying a pregnant Nancy.

That time “Just Say No” nostalgia failed to put John McCain over the top.

When they photo shopped Nancy’s head  into the dedication of the Reagan aircraft carrier. 

 

When the Reagan Library lost all that stuff.

                  What’s your favorite #NancyMemory?

 

 

 

 

Your Presidential Libraries Never Forget 

The world will little remember reaching for the remote, desperate to squelch George Pataki’s insulting reading of the Gettysburg address on the first 9/11 anniversary.

Some feared the vapid inanity of  2002’s commemorations could never be topped, but presidential libraries are doing their part.

Who Am I & Why Am I Here?  

Having apparently run out of things to say about either their nominal subjects or their periods, today’s presidential libraries seek to present themselves as founts of Everyhistory, places to mark any odd occasion with history slapped on.

And try , if possible, to include motorcycles.

At least four presidential libraries will mark the decade since 9/11, each in their own baffling manner.

The Franklin Roosevelt Presidential Library is at least in the same state as one target…but after that the relation gets kind of strained.

They will be displaying a chunk of metal from the World Trade Center wreckage.  

We might have enjoyed a retrospective on our relationship with our gallant Saudi Arabian ally, beginning with FDR’s quiet 1945 interlude with King Saud.

 Bush senior’s Library will also feature World Trade Center metal,

and they’ve rounded up some local rescue workers.

No word if Bandar Bush will show up.

 The Gerald R. Ford Presidential Museum has subcontracted

to the Boy Scouts, who will be hanging about all day.

And yes, they do have a chunk of the World Trade Center.

The Nixon Library will go all out for the memories. Sixteen tons of World Trade Center steel will arrive in ceremony Monday, and be available for public gawking all week. 

Keeping Up With The Kardashian

Tuesday will feature Angie Kardashian, one of the lesser known Kardashians.   Her claim to fame is post-9/11 firehouse cooking, not self-porning.

Let us pray 9/11 souvenirs don’t become the latest presidential library must have object.  At least until they all get their Berlin Wall chunks squared away.

 

  The Reagan Library will be bursting with 9/11 goodness.  The Library will serve as a start point for Simi Valley’s “Freedom Walk,” Donald Rumsfeld‘s effort to mashup the initially popular Afghanistan war together with Iraq in a delightful Freedom Smoothie.

                                                                                                                 Freedom Handshakes? 

The program will feature a 9/11 emergency worker, and they’ve dug up a prize. Out of all the rescue workers on the scene on 9/11, they’ve chosen the Scientologist.

  His “controversial” church got a reputation at the disaster site of proselytizing and sneaking around barricades, but  New York Fireman John McCole was their man on the inside.  

   

 

With her proven record of cult attraction, did the Scientologists get to Nancy Reagan? 

 The Reagan Library never lets a marketing moment pass, as they demonstrated with their 9/11 commemoration page.

 

 You’ll come to honor the dead,  you’ll stay to purchase souvenir Air Force One replicas.

 

 

There’s Always Room For Dick!

 The Nixon Foundation kicks off the mad Fathers Day rush with the “perfect” gift for the rage bear you love: Dick “Dick” Morris’s “Take Back America.” Hours from now Morris himself takes the stage at the Nixon Library, and as of yesterday tickets were still available!

Its a return engagement with History for Morris, who makes the Nixon a regular stop on his book flogging excursions.  The cousin of former Nancy Reagan walker Roy Cohn is  currently pushing one of three titles he’s managed to get out of the still somewhat fresh Obama administration, seamlessly moving to a new host from his Clinton period as a “bird that lives by eating ticks off the rhino’s back.”

Morris is a past profaner of sacred parental-related holidays,  and why the Nixon chooses to link the toe-sucking whore-hound whose only child is not his wife’s to America’s sacred celebration of Fatherhood is unclear.

Good Lord, They Got To Karl! 

 

 

“This year, I was lucky enough to get an invitation to the White House media holiday party, which would have been called a Christmas party if U.S. Grant were still president.” – Bill O’Reilly

Strenuous efforts to uphold the banner of Christ in the White House continue, although they appear increasingly strained.  Careful observers have discovered a Mao ornament    on a White House tree, from which all manner of fevered speculation has spawned.

As the observers themselves note,  “edgy “window dresser Simon Doonan was engaged for the White House decorating effort, delivering his patented mixture of familiar faces mobilized to dubious ends.  The troubling ornament appears to reference Andy Warhol’s Mao series  for whatever reason.

    Warhol was a fine Republican artist who painted Ronald Reagan as well, and even attended Reagan’s inaugural.

Now Sleeveless To Serve You Better

Also on the prowl for atheists in office is former he-man Chuck Norris, who entertains the readers of World Net Daily with fanciful readings of past presidents’ Jesus-relating.

Norris complains that Barack Obama let down Team Jesus by not refuting eccentric Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.  Ahmadinejad claims the US is busy trying to hold back the return of the Mahdi, Islam’s ass-kickiest Imam, who is expected to pair up with Jesus at some point and redeem mankind.

How the cause of Christ or America would be served by getting down into the weeds of Islamic theology is unclear.

Chuck touts two web sites as delivering the steaming Christianity we demand in our leaders, but I fear he may be misreading them.  A search of WhiteHouseChristmasCards.com delivers no results for Ronald Reagan,   and surely Reagan should provide some Jesus-mongering material.

And I’m afraid “Christmas with the Presidents” doesn’t provide the firm slap of theology Chuck’s audience craves either.
The document provides breathless detail on presidential holiday minutia with little proof of Christ’s grip on the White House.

“For the Christmas of 1958, Mamie pulled out all the stops in decorating the White House. She had 27 decorated trees, carols were piped into every room and greenery was wrapped around every column.“

There’s More:

“In 1977, the Carters ordered and sent 60,000 Christmas cards, substantially more than any previous administration.“

And triteness sparkles throughout:

“Christmas in Illinois, where both Ronald and Nancy Reagan grew up, was a sharp contrast to their Christmases in Washington. The President has recalled that his family never had a really fancy Christmas.“

Vanity Plot?               

Anxious to display something, anything which had touched the great man for the Lincoln Bicentennial, in 2007 the Kentucky Historical Society spent $19,000 on a pair of earrings which may, or may not, have belonged to Lincoln’s wife.

The earrings history is sketchy. Basically, it’s a letter from a guy who once owned them, saying he was sure they are the real deal, he just wasn’t sure how.

The scandel has allowed Illinois, Kentucky’s sworn enemy in the Lincoln-sphere, to sneer.

“‘That’s not much of a provenance,” said Thomas Schwartz, director of research at the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum in Springfield, Illinois…It’s not enough that a collector has a hunch, especially if he can’t even provide the person that he purchased it from.“

We do know that Mary Todd Lincoln was a proven earring wearer.

The earrings may now join Kentucky’s other famously fake Lincoln artifact: the replica birthplace cabin which now graces Kentucky’s entry in the US Mint’s parade of state quarters.

Cabin Fever!