WWW.PRESIDENTS”R”US.COM

As America’s stalwart Egyptian man-crush slinks into the shadows, can America ever love again?  Where will our search for love, strength and stability take us?Perhaps to the southwest shores of Africa, where an island glistens in the sun. Teodoro Obiang Nguema  =    Choice!    Thanks to whatever diplomatic pack-rat who gave Wikileaks its document trove, we know learn that a young Obama administration looked to move on from torture, bank fraud and general kleptocracy, turning a new page with the dynamic island [and chunk of shore] nation of Equatorial Guinea.”“It is time to abandon a moral narrative that has left us with a retrospective bias and an ambivalent approach to one of the most-promising success stories in the region.“ 

Good Lord, They Got To Karl! 

“This year, I was lucky enough to get an invitation to the White House media holiday party, which would have been called a Christmas party if U.S. Grant were still president.” – Bill O’Reilly

Strenuous efforts to uphold the banner of Christ in the White House continue, although they appear increasingly strained.  Careful observers have discovered a Mao ornament    on a White House tree, from which all manner of fevered speculation has spawned.

As the observers themselves note,  “edgy “window dresser Simon Doonan was engaged for the White House decorating effort, delivering his patented mixture of familiar faces mobilized to dubious ends.  The troubling ornament appears to reference Andy Warhol’s Mao series  for whatever reason.

    Warhol was a fine Republican artist who painted Ronald Reagan as well, and even attended Reagan’s inaugural.

Now Sleeveless To Serve You Better

Also on the prowl for atheists in office is former he-man Chuck Norris, who entertains the readers of World Net Daily with fanciful readings of past presidents’ Jesus-relating.

Norris complains that Barack Obama let down Team Jesus by not refuting eccentric Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.  Ahmadinejad claims the US is busy trying to hold back the return of the Mahdi, Islam’s ass-kickiest Imam, who is expected to pair up with Jesus at some point and redeem mankind.

How the cause of Christ or America would be served by getting down into the weeds of Islamic theology is unclear.

Chuck touts two web sites as delivering the steaming Christianity we demand in our leaders, but I fear he may be misreading them.  A search of WhiteHouseChristmasCards.com delivers no results for Ronald Reagan,   and surely Reagan should provide some Jesus-mongering material.

And I’m afraid “Christmas with the Presidents” doesn’t provide the firm slap of theology Chuck’s audience craves either.
The document provides breathless detail on presidential holiday minutia with little proof of Christ’s grip on the White House.

“For the Christmas of 1958, Mamie pulled out all the stops in decorating the White House. She had 27 decorated trees, carols were piped into every room and greenery was wrapped around every column.“

There’s More:

“In 1977, the Carters ordered and sent 60,000 Christmas cards, substantially more than any previous administration.“

And triteness sparkles throughout:

“Christmas in Illinois, where both Ronald and Nancy Reagan grew up, was a sharp contrast to their Christmases in Washington. The President has recalled that his family never had a really fancy Christmas.“

Remember, Remember The Eleventh Of September

The George W. Bush Presidential Library has no building yet, but in our up to the minute virtual world they’ve begun filling the Internets with thoughtful reminders of the glorious Bush Era.

The Library website has an exciting 9-11 look-back slide-show,    featuring our hero on the phone,

videoconferencing, 

and   staring urgently.

All of our old friends are there:

Tony Blair,

    Hamid Karzai,

even good old Pervez Musharraf.

And never forget: we invaded for the children!

I’d forgotten former New York Governor    George Pataki was with Bush on the rubble mound

in NYPD drag, anticipating the butch look  Bush would sport the next seven years.

To Equatorial Guinea, where the Dark Continent meets the Deep Blue Sea, and oil floats the ruling family to a higher realm.

A spectacularly corrupt kleptocracy has evolved this West African island and some coast into a tropical gangster parody.

Think Of It As A Name Tag  

President-Till-The-Cows-Come-Home Obiang Nguema Mbasogo has presided for three decades since killing his uncle, the previous dictator, and now the New York Times reports that a swanky bit of Malibu may be forever E.G.

Strongman scion and heir apparent Teodoro Nguema Obiang spends much of his time in a multimillion dollar mansion in this suburb of the stars, despite US laws that nominally bar corrupt foreigners from our shores. 

Equatorial Guinea has been in an expansive mood lately.   The regime recently sprang a mercenary jailed in a murky coup attempt, freeing an unhappy Simon Mann to pursue his claim that Son Of The Iron Lady Mark Thatcher helped the plot.

President Obiang, shown here gathering strength from the martyred Che Guevara,    has friends throughout the world. 

The regime’s website practices a level of delicious shamelessness, posting headlines like  “DEMOCRACY AT ITS PEAK IN EQUATORIAL GUINEA” and leaving them up despite mockery.

  A vast presidential mansion is being built, and even better,  a presidential library! 

Where did this big idea come from?

Equatorial Guinea has had a storied relationship with one American who has promiscuously spread himself over our nation’s Presidential Library universe.

World Beater

Joe L. Allbritton is a cartoonish exaggeration of Washington incestuousness, serving on boards for the Kennedy Center, the Lyndon Johnson, Reagan and George H.W. Bush Presidential Libraries, and a failed effort to bring George W. Bush’s to Baylor University.

Alblbritton financed his service to former greats’ memories through his ownership of Washington’s Riggs Bank, a daisy chain of power ensnaring Russian spies,  Saudi princes, a Bush uncle, General Pinochet and the Obiang family.

For hiding Obiang and Pinochet millions Allbritton lost the bank.  Riggs paid $39 million in US civil and criminal penalties, $8 million in Spain.  Allbritton and his son personally paid one million dollars to Pinochet torture victims.

…And We’ll Never Hear The End Of It

French President Nicolas Sarkozy joins the line of hero’s taking credit for Communism’s demise.

From the Daily Mail via Wonkette comes news that the small but perfectly formed pol has posted a Facebook photo and copy which appears to place him amidst Freedom’s Chiselers® taking a whack at the Wall the night it fell.

Sarko is in Berlin for the anniversary festivities, so his invented heroics should make him many new friends.

Also among the Berlin throng is Ronald Reagan offspring Michael Reagan. He is there to dedicate a Reagan room at the Checkpoint Charlie Museum, an event so momentous it is unmentioned on the Museum’s website.

One of Michael Reagan’s honored guests will be the German Democratic Republic’s last Prime Minister, Lothar de Maiziere. The former PM may feel a special bond with former FBI informant Ronald Reagan as de Maiziere was forced from politics by accusations he’d been a Stazi informant under the DDR.

Barack Obama is not in Berlin, and his “World Freedom Day” proclamation leaves both Reagan and Sarkozy unmentioned.  Obama does coyly use the  phrase “Kiev to Capetown” in describing the consequences of the Wall falling, cruelly recalling Reagan’s, shall we say, complex  approach to Apartheid