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 Admires So Much Of Both In Self

                                                            

 Doomed* Massachusetts Republican Senate Candidate Scott Brown has gone all Dan Quayle in his first ad leading up to the late January special election.

Scratchy black and white film of John F. Kennedy touting a tax cut morphs into our Scott, somehow color-free but also eager to splash some money out of the till.

Brown clearly sees himself on the path of glory.

 But timing is key.

“They’re powerful, rich, handsome people and they’re dead. And they can’t make a difference, while I still can.’’

— Republican Senate  candidate SCOTT BROWN, comparing himself to John F. Kennedy Jr. and Princess Diana 

 Old Acquaintance, Be Forgot! 

Brown took offense recently when his opponent mentioned Reagan’s well known propensity to pose with beverage alcohol.  Ronald Reagan has now become such a seamless garment of myth that Republican candidates can get all huffy when elements of the myth-building are recalled by their opponents.

Democrat Martha Coakley worked in the reference during a debate, saying “While everybody thought he was fun to have a beer with . . . I think that he did a great disservice to this country.’’

Brown pronounced himself disappointed at such disparagement.

“He brought great pride to our country at a time when we needed it and helped to bring down the Soviet Union, Iron Curtain. Just to [say] go out and have a beer with him, that’s, I think, inappropriate.’’

Student of History Scottie needs a refresher course in the importance of beer in crafting Reagan’s everyman facade.    His staff staged serial stein hoistings, crucial anecdote generation to putting across his less than populist measures.

The beery myth making reaches its apotheosis at the Reagan Library of course, where they hauled in parts of an Irish pub Reagan visited and dressed up the food court with them. 

Reagan did do one concrete thing for beer.

   He signed federal legislation forcing the states to raise the drinking age to 21, launching a generation of youth binge drinking.

*But then they saw his truck

Whose Star Do I See Tonight?    

The holidays mean gifts for all, and the White House Christmas tree brought forth a splendid new bounty. Even as frenzy mounted over Chairman Mao’s cameo on the tree, the serious squinters at Little Green Footballs have spotted the fount of another cult of personality amidst the dangling.

Take a bow, Ronald Reagan!       

Very Red, But Not That Way 

US News & World Report [not yet owned by a sinister religious cult] reports breaking news from 1984.

Extracted from Craig Shirley’s new Ronald Reagan homage, a tale of bawdy fun in the twilight struggle against Communism.

Such was the depth of Ronald Reagan’s Anti-Communist passion we are told, that, after being safely re-elected, Reagan felt secure enough in office to change the Soviet Union’s diplomatic licence plates to begin with “FC.”

Standing for “Fucking Commies.”

We are to believe that cuddly old Ronald Reagan, a man who wouldn’t spell out the word “hell” in his diary, got off a good one against the dirty Reds.

Perhaps more plausible is the version attributing these hi-jinks to America’s now surfing-ist congressman, Dana Rohrabacher, shown here with mue, mue

  authentico “Nw Reagan” Mitt Romney.    Rohrabacher was a Reagan speechwriter in days of yore.

Such is the state of presidential anecdotage that stories already endlessly retold live again as colorful tales of a bygone era, in this case more of the bottomless pit of Reagan-Or-Those-Around-Him-Which-Is-Close-Enough really couldn’t stand the Stalinists.

As if we doubted.

Good Lord, They Got To Karl! 

“This year, I was lucky enough to get an invitation to the White House media holiday party, which would have been called a Christmas party if U.S. Grant were still president.” – Bill O’Reilly

Strenuous efforts to uphold the banner of Christ in the White House continue, although they appear increasingly strained.  Careful observers have discovered a Mao ornament    on a White House tree, from which all manner of fevered speculation has spawned.

As the observers themselves note,  “edgy “window dresser Simon Doonan was engaged for the White House decorating effort, delivering his patented mixture of familiar faces mobilized to dubious ends.  The troubling ornament appears to reference Andy Warhol’s Mao series  for whatever reason.

    Warhol was a fine Republican artist who painted Ronald Reagan as well, and even attended Reagan’s inaugural.

Now Sleeveless To Serve You Better

Also on the prowl for atheists in office is former he-man Chuck Norris, who entertains the readers of World Net Daily with fanciful readings of past presidents’ Jesus-relating.

Norris complains that Barack Obama let down Team Jesus by not refuting eccentric Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.  Ahmadinejad claims the US is busy trying to hold back the return of the Mahdi, Islam’s ass-kickiest Imam, who is expected to pair up with Jesus at some point and redeem mankind.

How the cause of Christ or America would be served by getting down into the weeds of Islamic theology is unclear.

Chuck touts two web sites as delivering the steaming Christianity we demand in our leaders, but I fear he may be misreading them.  A search of WhiteHouseChristmasCards.com delivers no results for Ronald Reagan,   and surely Reagan should provide some Jesus-mongering material.

And I’m afraid “Christmas with the Presidents” doesn’t provide the firm slap of theology Chuck’s audience craves either.
The document provides breathless detail on presidential holiday minutia with little proof of Christ’s grip on the White House.

“For the Christmas of 1958, Mamie pulled out all the stops in decorating the White House. She had 27 decorated trees, carols were piped into every room and greenery was wrapped around every column.“

There’s More:

“In 1977, the Carters ordered and sent 60,000 Christmas cards, substantially more than any previous administration.“

And triteness sparkles throughout:

“Christmas in Illinois, where both Ronald and Nancy Reagan grew up, was a sharp contrast to their Christmases in Washington. The President has recalled that his family never had a really fancy Christmas.“

Out Of The Past

A Los Angeles area bank robber went with a proven formula recently, wearing a Richard Nixon mask while hitting two Encino banks.

The presidential salute dates to 1991’s film “Pointbreak,” in which matinee idol Patrick Swayze led a rough ‘n tumble band of masked surfer/bank-robbers, pursued by the always inert Keanu Reeves. Since then multiple banks have been held up by masked gunmen, with mixed results.

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