WWW.PRESIDENTS”R”US.COM

…But Happy To Let The States Do It!

The Washington Post explores new frontiers of letting presidential candidates make up their own history, giving Rick Santorum an opportunity to fuzz up his campaign against birth control.

Melinda  Henneberger in her fantisy feminist pose She The People spoke to the man himself after the fringe radicals of Salon pointed to his views on sex [against it, unless in the right hands].

Henneberger has Santorum identifying as Catholic, so of course he’s against birth control, before moving on to the Supreme Court’s Griswold ruling which got the states out of your bedroom.

It’s a philosophical question you see; Santorum feels the Supremes overreached.  He’s only for leaving the states alone to do as they please, what could be the harm?

Henneberger then drags in cartoon Fox liberal Alan Colmes, who apparently bungled a reference to Santorum’s fetishising his dead son, to end on a “how dare you” note to those who would attack this good man.

“ I’d feel silly pretending to believe he’s going to be even metaphorically riffling through medicine chests”

She may write, but she isn’t paying attention.

Back in the day, all thoughtful folk knew Ronald Reagan couldn’t possibly be elected with all his right wing baggage.  The road to hell begins in pretending as though the crazies won’t act on their impulses.

Ronald Reagan, Praise Be Upon Him  

Who’s the silent partner, the ghost who walks at Republican presidential debates?

You know where this is going.

Talking Points Memo looks at the numbers, and finds Ronald Reagan way out in front in GOPer presidential debate mentions, with living fossil of the Reagan Era Newt Gingrich in a breathtaking name-dropping lead.

 Demand Your Prompt Refund!

 What with the tedious actual issues involved in federal budget fights, don’t we all need time to laugh?Step forward, Representative Scott Womack   , sponsor of a World Net Daily dog-whistler to save the American taxpayer by defunding White House teleprompters.

Now tragically withdrawn, the bill still serves a host of uses, reminding the faithful that Obama can’t really talk good without mechanical assistance, that unlike his rough-hewn predecessor Obama is a fancy boy fraud.  

Pastures Of Pawlenty Results are pouring in, and former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty’s 2012 campaign launch video is on its way to comedy gold.  Ominous music, quick cutting between historic footage and the fairytale grittiness of handheld cameras [Thanks, Battle Of Algiers!]   lend a semblance of urgency to Pawlenty’s flat intonation, but can the Rick Santorum Of The North overcome his roots in America’s Almost Canada? Amidst the familiar 60s crawl – MLK! Moonshots! – Pawlenty’s not afraid to take controversial stands                               He Does Not Care For Communism!     

                                    And, Founder Porn! 

We also get such oddities as a wagon train [in black and white, for authenticity!]

And this foreign interloper. 

 If Tim Pawlenty can’t protect us from Blackberry wielding Canadians, how can he defend America?

Grant Me This 

It was a gathering of the conservative faithful at CPAC this past weekend, and the search for novel political analogies reached strange new heights.

Among the oddities was Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty, whose doomed Presidential campaign took its first tentative steps off the cliff by reminding the assembled Neo-Confederates    of a past glorius Republican office holder,  U.S. Grant.

Somehow today’s conservative struggle resembles Grant’s grinding Civil War victories over the South, his scandel infested administration, or his occasional lunges towards protecting blacks and Republicans from the Klan in the South. Which is unclear, but Pawlenty has his own upbeat, crackpot version:

“We’re on the side of limited government. And, like Grant, we fight.“

But perhaps not win.  Pawlenty came in fourth in CPAC’s presidential straw poll.

Also up for CPAC recycling,  Margeret Thatcher, AKA The Iron Lady.  Indiana Representative Mike Pence, straw poll fifth place holder, put America’s striking coal miners and Trotskyist local office holders on notice by evoking everyone’s favorite Churchill in drag. Just wait till that North Sea oil saves our ass!

A Romantic View Of History

Pence also entertained the crowd with a musty Ronald Reagan yarn, one where Reagan encountered a magic pipe-fitter.  This proto Joe The Plumber begged Reagan to save tax cuts for the rich, so guys like him could be hired by them.  Pence has trotted out the tale of this wondrous encounter at least twice going back to 2005.

CPAC turned to Glen Beck for insane historical tales with a grain of truth.

Peeing all over John McCain’s myth of a muscular progressive Republican past, Beck rightly called Teddy Roosevelt an interventionist.

But calling Roosevelt a socialist is as insane as labeling Obama one.