Tuesday’s election primaries yielded many disturbing results, with colonial dress clowns triumphant in Delaware and elsewhere.  But Long Island voters have sensibly turned away from the past, rejecting Christopher Nixon Cox’s bid to untarnish the legacy of his grandfather, Richard Nixon.

Young Nixon Cox had time on his hands after his debut political effort, losing New York State to Obama for McCain by 25%.  Cox tried to go local in pursuit of a House of Representatives seat, ditching his home in Manhattan to claim local residency with the rubes, even announcing an engagement to an under-aged heiress. ENGAGED: Congressional candidate Chris Cox, 31, and his betrothed, supermarket heiress Andrea Catsimatidis, 20.

All for only a quarter of the vote.

Ronald Reagan: Live The Fantasy!

Republican Tinkerbell

The thoughtful press peepers at Media Matters For America [just typing it gives a tingle!] have detected a pattern in Republican affairs:  free-floating New Reagan naming, often not tied to any visible speaking skill or charisma.

Christie On A Stick! 

They run down the usual names named, your Palins, Rubios and the like, but several of the reborn seem to have escaped their view.

Lest we forget, some have imagined the mantel falling on Rubio’s leathery opponent, Charlie Crist.  Before his auditioning to become the Robert Byrd of the desert wastelands,  John McCain was considered amoung the Reagan Undead. Until he stumbled into a cracker history morass Virginia Governor Robert F. “Bob” McDonnell was seen, at least in Pat Robertson’s alternative universe, as Reaganesque. And South Korean hard man President Lee Myung-bak was Reagan walking until it was discovered voters didn’t thrill to the prospect of confrontation with the North.

But our favorite New Reagan of Today lives in South Africa:

zuma-dances.jpg  step forward President Zuma!

Jersey Ploys!

Lights Out, Nobody Home 

 America was awash with InfectiousOptimism®, as an avuncular Ronald Reagan rolled towards 1984’s crushing of Walter Mondale.  Reagan was campaigning in Hammonton New Jersey, when he felt a song coming on…

America’s future rests in a thousand dreams inside your hearts…It rests in a message of hope in songs of a man so many young Americans admire: New Jersey’s Bruce Springsteen.

  Bored In The USA image_area

Reagan labored under the misconception that Springsteen shared his cornball vision, and even better, cultural seer and future enemy of denim-clad youth George Will was the fount of this error.

The years have not been kind to the stone.


Reagan Smites Obama Nominee From Beyond the Grave

Code Of Silence  

An Obama nominee’s shocking mockery of Ronald Reagan may torpedo his nomination.  Dennis Hayes is up for deputy secretary of Interior, but soldier of the Reagan Revolution John McCain claims to take great offense at some five year old musings Ronald Reagan cowboy  somehow tying Reagan to cowboy mythology.

Hayes wrote of the legendary man of the west,

a rugged, gun-toting individualist who fiercely guards every man’s right to drill, mine, log, or do whatever he damn well pleases on the land…Like Ronald Reagan before him, President Bush has embraced the Western stereotype to the point of adopting some of its affectations—the boots, brush-clearing, and get-the-government-off-our-backs bravado.”

That’s it, end of mockery.

McCain pronounced himself unhappy, as well he should, being a product of the DC suburbs parachuted into the wilds of Arizona with only native guile and his wife’s money to support him.

For christ’s sake, Hayes is a chemical and utility lobbyist.

Where Reagan Lost It: Let’s Never Find Out!

New Math For Tired Arguments       reagan-anti-obama-ad.JPG

America’s ceaseless quest for a New Reagan has taken myriad forms, from Charlie Crist, to Sarah Palin, to Barack Obama.

That last one has proven controversial!

Now Reaganauts of the true faith are fighting back, mobilising the armies of infectious optimism to carry John McCain over the last mile.

A hilariously ignorant ad by shows it’s the economy, stupider:


MAN 1: Senator McCain, history has shown us your economic plans will work.
WOMAN 1: When Ronald Reagan took office, the economy was far worse than it is today.
MAN 2: You understand that Reagan’s plan worked. Senator Obama does not.”

What were His wonder working ways?


              “Ronald Reagan cut spending and reduced the size of the federal government. Senator Obama plans to increase spending by nearly a trillion dollars. So who’s right?”

Gosh, if by “cutting” you mean increase by a quarter,  and if by “reduced” you mean added 200,000 federal workers, then they are right on track.

Bill Clinton was actually closer to their mad dream.  He cut heads, and shrank the government portion of GDP by twice what Reagan did.

reagan-thumbs-up.jpg  What Reagan did do is jack up unemployment, cut incomes and goose the stock market, and Clinton beat him on that last marker too.

Average Annual Change 1960s 1970s 1980s 1990s
Real GDP 4.4% 3.3% 3.1% 3.1%
Productivity 2.9% 2.0% 1.4% 1.9%
Employment 1.9% 2.4% 1.7% 1.3%
S&P 500: Real Returns 6.6% Ð0.5% 12.9% 15.9%
Real Weekly Wages 1.45% Ð0.27% Ð0.72% 0.28%
Real Median Family income 3.21% 0.76% 1.01% 0.95%
Average Level of Inflation 2.3% 7.1% 5.6% 3.0%
Average Level of Unemployment 4.8% 6.2% 7.3% 5.8%

 source: Dollars & Sense


MAN 5: Senator McCain, we are hopeful.

MAN 4: Because your economic policies are the policies of Ronald Reagan.

MAN 2: As a nation in crisis, we’d be fools not to embrace your ideas.

ANNOUNCER: What happens when we pick the alternative? Please America. Let’s never find out.