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 Admires So Much Of Both In Self

                                                            

 Doomed* Massachusetts Republican Senate Candidate Scott Brown has gone all Dan Quayle in his first ad leading up to the late January special election.

Scratchy black and white film of John F. Kennedy touting a tax cut morphs into our Scott, somehow color-free but also eager to splash some money out of the till.

Brown clearly sees himself on the path of glory.

 But timing is key.

“They’re powerful, rich, handsome people and they’re dead. And they can’t make a difference, while I still can.’’

— Republican Senate  candidate SCOTT BROWN, comparing himself to John F. Kennedy Jr. and Princess Diana 

 Old Acquaintance, Be Forgot! 

Brown took offense recently when his opponent mentioned Reagan’s well known propensity to pose with beverage alcohol.  Ronald Reagan has now become such a seamless garment of myth that Republican candidates can get all huffy when elements of the myth-building are recalled by their opponents.

Democrat Martha Coakley worked in the reference during a debate, saying “While everybody thought he was fun to have a beer with . . . I think that he did a great disservice to this country.’’

Brown pronounced himself disappointed at such disparagement.

“He brought great pride to our country at a time when we needed it and helped to bring down the Soviet Union, Iron Curtain. Just to [say] go out and have a beer with him, that’s, I think, inappropriate.’’

Student of History Scottie needs a refresher course in the importance of beer in crafting Reagan’s everyman facade.    His staff staged serial stein hoistings, crucial anecdote generation to putting across his less than populist measures.

The beery myth making reaches its apotheosis at the Reagan Library of course, where they hauled in parts of an Irish pub Reagan visited and dressed up the food court with them. 

Reagan did do one concrete thing for beer.

   He signed federal legislation forcing the states to raise the drinking age to 21, launching a generation of youth binge drinking.

 

*But then they saw his truck

Festiva!

 

Christmas is a special season at the White House. Won’t you join the search for America’s best Presidential gifts?

 

 

 

 

 

Most Wonderful Time!

 

 

 

 

1.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For only $150.00 you can get this handsome Baccarat paperweight. It features Woodrow Wilson looking for all the world like the President-For-Life of a former Soviet republic.

 

2.

 

Often mocked, never bettered, the Nixon birthplace birdhouse. A classic at $45.00

3.

 

Vice Presidents before Dick Cheney often felt slighted and ignored, and were forced to find themselves something to do. In tribute to those dark days, the United States Vice Presidential Museum offers this Dan Quayle shot glass. $3.77.

4.

He may belong now to the ages, but he can still help tuck you in at night. The Lincoln Nightlight, $27.50.

5.

A sly dig at Betty Ford’s addictions? On offer for $24.95 in the Reagan Library’s “Nancy Reagan’s favorites” gift section, the First Lady Purse Pill Box. “It can be a headache to be first lady. This silver pill box helps you find the right remedy ever-so-elegantly“

6.

Because repeating “um, you lost,” won’t silence Confederate apologists, $12.00 gets you ten Christmas cards and envelopes with this touching Christmas scene of the Jeff Davis family from the “Confederate White House.”

7.

An undistinguished presidency yields endearingly odd sports apparel from Bridgeport Connecticut’s Warren Harding High School. $21.99 or multiple variations at similar prices.

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8.

For $40.00, a talking Nixon doll with some explaining to do.

9.

“No Nickname”? Because “America’s Fattest President” couldn’t fit on a patch? Yours for only $4.27.
10.

You’ll accept no substitute for victory over sleeplessness with this 18″ square Commander in Chief throw pillow! President Bush has never looked so butch, and you’ll never feel more comfortable. For $18.99 you can take your pillow with you on trips like El Jefe does!

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Former Vice President Dan Quayle got quite a run out of attacking a fictional single mother. The head of Quayle’s Vice President’s museum aims lower, victimizing a 5th grade girl in order to make some point about media bias.

United States Vice Presidential Museum Executive Director Dan Johns was leading Schererville Indiana students through a mock election when he chose to trip up candidate Maddy Martin by focusing hard questions on her while giving her opponent Roger Kaufman a pass.

According to The Times of Munster Indiana,

“Johns took credit for Martin’s loss. He told the children that he was going to act as the media and Internet. During the debate, he rephrased questions to put her in a bad light. He prodded her for further explanation of her answers but left Kaufman untouched…He wanted to prove a point that information sources influence the election process.”

Johns also explored the mysteries of the Electoral College with the youngsters.

“He used ice cream to explain how electoral votes work. In a group of six student presidential candidates, five preferred chocolate, and the sixth preferred strawberry. But because the group could have only one of the flavors, their delegate was directed to buy chocolate for the group.”

No word if he explored what happens if chocolate fans get only 3/5ths of a vote.