Whose Star Do I See Tonight?
The holidays mean gifts for all, and the White House Christmas tree brought forth a splendid new bounty. Even as frenzy mounted over Chairman Mao’s cameo on the tree, the serious squinters at Little Green Footballs have spotted the fount of another cult of personality amidst the dangling.
Take a bow, Ronald Reagan!
Very Red, But Not That Way
US News & World Report [not yet owned by a sinister religious cult] reports breaking news from 1984.
Extracted from Craig Shirley’s new Ronald Reagan homage, a tale of bawdy fun in the twilight struggle against Communism.
Such was the depth of Ronald Reagan’s Anti-Communist passion we are told, that, after being safely re-elected, Reagan felt secure enough in office to change the Soviet Union’s diplomatic licence plates to begin with “FC.”
Standing for “Fucking Commies.”
We are to believe that cuddly old Ronald Reagan, a man who wouldn’t spell out the word “hell” in his diary, got off a good one against the dirty Reds.
Perhaps more plausible is the version attributing these hi-jinks to America’s now surfing-ist congressman,shown here with mue, mue
authentico “Nw Reagan” Mitt Romney.
Such is the state of presidential anecdotage that stories already endlessly retold live again as colorful tales of a bygone era, in this case more of the bottomless pit of Reagan-Or-Those-Around-Him-Which-Is-Close-Enough really couldn’t stand the Stalinists.
As if we doubted.
“This year, I was lucky enough to get an invitation to the White House media holiday party, which would have been called a Christmas party if U.S. Grant were still president.” – Bill O’Reilly
Strenuous efforts to uphold the banner of Christ in the White House continue, although they appear increasingly strained. Careful observers have discovered a Mao ornament on a White House tree, from which all manner of fevered speculation has spawned.
As the observers themselves note, “edgy “window dresser Simon Doonan was engaged for the White House decorating effort, delivering his patented mixture of familiar faces mobilized to dubious ends. The troubling ornament appears to reference Andy Warhol’s Mao series for whatever reason.
Warhol was a fine Republican artist who painted Ronald Reagan as well, and even attended Reagan’s inaugural.
Also on the prowl for atheists in office is former he-man Chuck Norris, who entertains the readers of World Net Daily with fanciful readings of past presidents’ Jesus-relating.
Norris complains that Barack Obama let down Team Jesus by not refuting eccentric Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Ahmadinejad claims the US is busy trying to hold back the return of the Mahdi, Islam’s ass-kickiest Imam, who is expected to pair up with Jesus at some point and redeem mankind.
Chuck touts two web sites as delivering the steaming Christianity we demand in our leaders, but I fear he may be misreading them. A search of WhiteHouseChristmasCards.com delivers no results for Ronald Reagan, and surely Reagan should provide some Jesus-mongering material.
And I’m afraid “Christmas with the Presidents” doesn’t provide the firm slap of theology Chuck’s audience craves either.
The document provides breathless detail on presidential holiday minutia with little proof of Christ’s grip on the White House.
And triteness sparkles throughout: