WWW.PRESIDENTS"R"US.COM

 Admires So Much Of Both In Self

                                                            

 Doomed* Massachusetts Republican Senate Candidate Scott Brown has gone all Dan Quayle in his first ad leading up to the late January special election.

Scratchy black and white film of John F. Kennedy touting a tax cut morphs into our Scott, somehow color-free but also eager to splash some money out of the till.

Brown clearly sees himself on the path of glory.

 But timing is key.

“They’re powerful, rich, handsome people and they’re dead. And they can’t make a difference, while I still can.’’

— Republican Senate  candidate SCOTT BROWN, comparing himself to John F. Kennedy Jr. and Princess Diana 

 Old Acquaintance, Be Forgot! 

Brown took offense recently when his opponent mentioned Reagan’s well known propensity to pose with beverage alcohol.  Ronald Reagan has now become such a seamless garment of myth that Republican candidates can get all huffy when elements of the myth-building are recalled by their opponents.

Democrat Martha Coakley worked in the reference during a debate, saying “While everybody thought he was fun to have a beer with . . . I think that he did a great disservice to this country.’’

Brown pronounced himself disappointed at such disparagement.

“He brought great pride to our country at a time when we needed it and helped to bring down the Soviet Union, Iron Curtain. Just to [say] go out and have a beer with him, that’s, I think, inappropriate.’’

Student of History Scottie needs a refresher course in the importance of beer in crafting Reagan’s everyman facade.    His staff staged serial stein hoistings, crucial anecdote generation to putting across his less than populist measures.

The beery myth making reaches its apotheosis at the Reagan Library of course, where they hauled in parts of an Irish pub Reagan visited and dressed up the food court with them. 

Reagan did do one concrete thing for beer.

   He signed federal legislation forcing the states to raise the drinking age to 21, launching a generation of youth binge drinking.

*But then they saw his truck

Whose Star Do I See Tonight?    

The holidays mean gifts for all, and the White House Christmas tree brought forth a splendid new bounty. Even as frenzy mounted over Chairman Mao’s cameo on the tree, the serious squinters at Little Green Footballs have spotted the fount of another cult of personality amidst the dangling.

Take a bow, Ronald Reagan!       

Very Red, But Not That Way 

US News & World Report [not yet owned by a sinister religious cult] reports breaking news from 1984.

Extracted from Craig Shirley’s new Ronald Reagan homage, a tale of bawdy fun in the twilight struggle against Communism.

Such was the depth of Ronald Reagan’s Anti-Communist passion we are told, that, after being safely re-elected, Reagan felt secure enough in office to change the Soviet Union’s diplomatic licence plates to begin with “FC.”

Standing for “Fucking Commies.”

We are to believe that cuddly old Ronald Reagan, a man who wouldn’t spell out the word “hell” in his diary, got off a good one against the dirty Reds.

Perhaps more plausible is the version attributing these hi-jinks to America’s now surfing-ist congressman, Dana Rohrabacher, shown here with mue, mue

  authentico “Nw Reagan” Mitt Romney.    Rohrabacher was a Reagan speechwriter in days of yore.

Such is the state of presidential anecdotage that stories already endlessly retold live again as colorful tales of a bygone era, in this case more of the bottomless pit of Reagan-Or-Those-Around-Him-Which-Is-Close-Enough really couldn’t stand the Stalinists.

As if we doubted.

“…you must know he’s one serious smoothie.“

The Star of South Africa has revisited an old favorite, the rebirth of Ronald Reagan in the form of a former guerrilla fighter with Communists in his cabinet.

The claim seems to boil down to President Jacob Zuma’s charm, breezy patter, and performance skills surpassing the dour immediate predecessor.

“As with Zuma, he liked to sing ditties in public, and though he never called for his machine-gun, he was quite prepared, if necessary, to engage the Soviet Union in ‘Star Wars‘.“

 Starr Turn Over 

Thomas Starr King is credited with keeping the Golden State loyal to the Union during the Civil War.

A statue expelled from the United States Capitol by Reagan cultists has come home to California.

Thomas Starr King mobilized Californians in the Civil War, squashing secessionist moves in Southern California.  His statue graced the halls of Congress for decades, until an especially sleazy Congressman spotted opportunity.

Each state gets two Capitol statues, and there has not been a lot of turnover. But Congress amended the rules in 2003, allowing states to change out existing statues for other local greats.

By some coincidence, the only flips so far have brought us Eisenhower, Ford and Reagan.

Hey Look! It’s Folks In 19th Century Garb!  

California has now dedicated Reagan’s victim in a Sacramento ceremony marred by the now apparently mandatory presence of  reenactors.

Better would have been a tableau featuring Representative Ken Calvert, sponsor of the Reagan insertion.  Calvert’s colorful past includes police finding him in his car in a pants down situation, Laffer Curve exposed, with a woman not his wife.

Ken Calvert & His Prey