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There’s Something About Joans

AstroTurf and Internet sock puppets are valued tools in the hope chest of propaganda, but one Reagan Library fan has fallen back on a steady method appropriate for America’s Sunset President – the letter to the editor from a deeply concerned citizen.

Joan Marie Patsky is a realtor who donates to the Library, but she doesn’t let this connection cloud her vision one bit.

The Reagan Library’s new Discovery Center features students reenacting of the Grenada invasion, and even as fizzy event as that is presented in a spectacularly hoked up version.

Joan is so thrilled by the place she’s written various papers at least three letters to the editor praising the new vision quest.

She states the kool-aided uncontradictable:

“Creative education recently took a giant leap forward at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library’s grand opening of the Air Force One Discovery Center in Simi Valley“

She furthers the Reagan Library’s mission to insert Nancy Reagan into as many contexts as possible, while confusing the real plane for a fake one:

“There is also a replica of the historic Boeing 707 Air Force One aircraft that carried the president and Mrs. Reagan on important missions that shaped global history.”

But sometimes she gets that it’s a real plane in service of the make believe:

“the powerful presence of the Presidential Air Force One Boeing 707 that is a historical symbol of the Reagan policy of a strong national defense and proactive involvement in global diplomacy.”

And sometimes the vapors overcome her and she makes no sense at all:

“Let education be the destination and experience the human dignity values of American democracy!”

Let’s Play House

In the course of reviewing the surprising amount of action a young Doris Day got in her Hollywood years, the author of “Doris Day: Reluctant Star” has America’s Girl Next Door bonking future president Ronald Reagan, her co-star in “The Winning Team.”

“The two would sneak off to his apartment high in the Hollywood Hills and make love while marvelling at the panoramic view below.“

Those fearful this means Ronnie might have cheated on Nancy can take comfort in Day’s biographer’s claim that all the gazing and getting busy ceased with her 1951 marriage to Marty Melcher. Reagan’s Jane Wyman era ended in 1948 and he and the former Nancy Davis weren’t married until 1952.

Leaving a fair sized window for pre-presidential philandering without violating the sanctity of marriage.

The Next Voice You Hear

Miss Grandpa’s voice on the radio?

Fret no more, Ronald Reagan is coming back to AM! It’s the very best of radio at it’s most analog, lovingly resurrected to win another generation to the cause.

It’s the hits of the 70s, 80s, 90s and today, without the clutter of those last three.

As Reagan re-animation efforts continue to reach new heights, the musty scripts are being presented as timeless words from yesteryear, “over 1,000 radio addresses that clarified his vision for America.”

And of course, “Non-political in nature.”

FDR gave his fireside chats while he actually held power, facing epic troubles larger than the looming abandonment of the Panama Canal Zone. But the idea of replaying his tapes during the 60s wouldn’t have passed the laugh test.

Theatre of the Stars

Writers never tire of linking politicians to pop culture. It’s favorite lists, free association and bad jokes, with the patina of History.

Peter “Not TV’s Scamp” Bart steps forward in Variety to do the honors this election season. Bart mobilizes material he appears to have been working on before many candidate’s recent demise, so his Romney and Edwards jokes still go forth to educate and amuse.

It’s a classic setup: candidate X wins and the nation needs to know: what movies will they watch?

“With Super Tuesday finally behind us, the presidential candidates hopefully will take a breather, perhaps even catch a movie. After all, the winner will soon have that delicious perk, the White House screening room, at his (or her) disposal.”

Bart moves rapidly from unproven thesis to generalization to factoid, to ignoring what a fairy tale Casablanca was.

“All this is relevant because, in the past, the filmgoing habits of previous presidents have provided a good indicator of their true character. Franklin D. Roosevelt was a sucker for any Disney toon, but took his movies seriously enough to arrange a screening of Casablanca just before leaving for the Casablanca Conference of 1943.”

There’s even a Hollywood Ending:

“For the record, the White House’s biggest movie fan was, of all people, Richard Nixon, who liked “Patton” best of all, screening it three times during the secret bombing of Cambodia. Nixon screened some 500 films during his White House stay…”

…and then he closes with a classic dirty joke involving Pat Nixon.

Martha Joynt Kumar Goes to White House

Martha Joynt Kumar is an actual scholar of White House operations, and she reviewed “All the Presidents’ Movies” when the made for Bravo documentary’s producers claimed it was to be released on DVD.

Kumar’s controversial thesis:

“Presidents spend a fair amount of time watching movies and using them to entertain others“

She does extract some fun facts. This version of White House cinephilia has Jimmy Carter topping Nixon’s supposed 500 films by viewing 579. ” That works out to an average of one every two and a half days.”

National Malaise can only explain so much.

Everything I Know I Learned From Julie Andrews

“…the president sometimes watched movies prior to important meetings. Twice that was the case with The Sound of Music. Reagan watched the movie the night before a 1983 Williamsburg economic summit with governors and prior to a 1986 meeting with Gorbachev in Geneva. “

Julie Andrews’ plucky demeanor may have served Reagan well, but the Geneva Summit happened in 1985.

Reagan may have applied Andrew’s methods in other contexts.

In “My favorite Things” Andrew’s character “simply remembers.”

 

“When I’m feeling sad

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don’t feel so bad”

The man who confused seeing film of German death camps with being there screened “The Killing Fields” at the White House. He was apparently untroubled, viewing an account of “Democratic Kampuchea” while his administration supported it’s murderous remaints in their war on the Vietnamese installed Hung Sen government. Reagan’s administration [and Carter’s before them] viewed the genocidal Pol Pot as a useful stick against Vietnam.

America Bakes A Cake

Wish last week’s Reagan Birthday madness would never end? Your dream draws closer, because America’s Reagan Centennial Countdown has begun!

Representative Elton Gallegly [R- Reagan Library] will be history’s handmaiden.

Gallegely is best known for his crusade to deny citizenship to American born children of the foreign born. Not that this stopped him from endorsing Mitt “Anchor Baby” Romney.

His legislation exhibits the attention to detail that marks Reagan stagecraft.

Past Presidential centennial commissions have been filled with bipartisan Washington worthies. The Eisenhower Commission had seven Senators, seven House Members, the Archivist of the United States, and six public members appointed by the President. The Teddy Roosevelt Centennial Commission had eight Presidential appointees, two Senators and two Congressmen.

Gallegely’s bill would lift the dead hand of government by giving the Reagan Library Foundation control of the Commission. It would name six out of eleven commissioners. So the people who brought you the Nancy Reagan dress exhibit will get even more federal money to tell government certified tales about Reagan.