Pastures Of Pawlenty Results are pouring in, and former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty’s 2012 campaign launch video is on its way to comedy gold.  Ominous music, quick cutting between historic footage and the fairytale grittiness of handheld cameras [Thanks, Battle Of Algiers!]   lend a semblance of urgency to Pawlenty’s flat intonation, but can the Rick Santorum Of The North overcome his roots in America’s Almost Canada? Amidst the familiar 60s crawl – MLK! Moonshots! – Pawlenty’s not afraid to take controversial stands                               He Does Not Care For Communism!     

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                                    And, Founder Porn! 

We also get such oddities as a wagon train [in black and white, for authenticity!]

And this foreign interloper. 

       

 If Tim Pawlenty can’t protect us from Blackberry wielding Canadians, how can he defend America?

A man dressed as former U.S. president Richard Nixon competes …

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Halloween By The Shore

…AND SO THE DREAM DIES 

Tuesday’s election primaries yielded many disturbing results, with colonial dress clowns triumphant in Delaware and elsewhere.  But Long Island voters have sensibly turned away from the past, rejecting Christopher Nixon Cox’s bid to untarnish the legacy of his grandfather, Richard Nixon.

Young Nixon Cox had time on his hands after his debut political effort, losing New York State to Obama for McCain by 25%.  Cox tried to go local in pursuit of a House of Representatives seat, ditching his home in Manhattan to claim local residency with the rubes, even announcing an engagement to an under-aged heiress.

All for only a quarter of the vote.

McNaughton’s Group  

Special thanks to the eagle eyes at Wonkette, who’ve spotted a big one.

Extraordinarily cheezeball artist Jon McNaughton has brought forth a gathering of greats, as the ghosts of presidents past hover around sullen, stand-offish looking Barack Obama, variously annoyed or aghast at his literal TRAMPLING ON THE CONSTITUTION!

McNaughton is the kind of crank who rambles along in incoherent Founderspeak for numbered paragraphs, passive aggressively concluding:

“The information is historical. If it is not familiar to you – Google it.“

Cramming all these figures into the frame seems to have skewed McNaughton’s perspective.  Small but perfectly formed James Madison is so upset at Obama’s boot-heel to our liberties that he’s bent over pleading, but appears to be almost Obama’s height.   The Forgotten Man is a giant seated on a toy town bench. Such is the occasion that Franklin Roosevelt walks.

McNaughton’s painting doesn’t leave much to chance, featuring ominous clouds, flags at half staff, and an accompanying video lush with  piano chords of doom.

Republican Tinkerbell

The thoughtful press peepers at Media Matters For America [just typing it gives a tingle!] have detected a pattern in Republican affairs:  free-floating New Reagan naming, often not tied to any visible speaking skill or charisma.

Christie On A Stick! 

They run down the usual names named, your Palins, Rubios and the like, but several of the reborn seem to have escaped their view.

Lest we forget, some have imagined the mantel falling on Rubio’s leathery opponent, Charlie Crist.  Before his auditioning to become the Robert Byrd of the desert wastelands,  John McCain was considered amoung the Reagan Undead. Until he stumbled into a cracker history morass Virginia Governor Robert F. “Bob” McDonnell was seen, at least in Pat Robertson’s alternative universe, as Reaganesque. And South Korean hard man President Lee Myung-bak was Reagan walking until it was discovered voters didn’t thrill to the prospect of confrontation with the North.

But our favorite New Reagan of Today lives in South Africa:

  step forward President Zuma!