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No Middle Ground 

Having already  incorporated Truman and Kennedy into the conservative pantheon, reactionaries are now critiquing Barack Obama for being just not FDR-ish enough

Portly torture enthusiast,  former Bush speech writer and stain on the Washington Post op/ed page Mark Theeson is out with an exciting new line of pretend argument: that unless Obama mans up and fully enjoys fighting both depression and war  he’ll end up a spent husk like Lyndon Johnson.

For purposes of lamenting Obama’s failure to use his oratorical powers in service of hustling the East, Thiessen assumes the guise of someone excited about expansive federal government, saddened by the stunting of LBJ’s Great Society.

A stance not often seen in the folds of the American Enterprise Institute, where the creator of wistful love notes to safely dead Democrats lies.

There’s Always Room For Dick!

 The Nixon Foundation kicks off the mad Fathers Day rush with the “perfect” gift for the rage bear you love: Dick “Dick” Morris’s “Take Back America.” Hours from now Morris himself takes the stage at the Nixon Library, and as of yesterday tickets were still available!

Its a return engagement with History for Morris, who makes the Nixon a regular stop on his book flogging excursions.  The cousin of former Nancy Reagan walker Roy Cohn is  currently pushing one of three titles he’s managed to get out of the still somewhat fresh Obama administration, seamlessly moving to a new host from his Clinton period as a “bird that lives by eating ticks off the rhino’s back.”

Morris is a past profaner of sacred parental-related holidays,  and why the Nixon chooses to link the toe-sucking whore-hound whose only child is not his wife’s to America’s sacred celebration of Fatherhood is unclear.

When Analogies Fail: Freedom’s Ramparts Or Iron Curtain? 

Old Reliable, Ronald Reagan, has been summened once more to freedom’s cause.  Or something.

Wonkette brings us this playful image from a Boston Teabag rally, and we can only speculate where the poster’s creator was coming from.

It appears that the Berlin Wall, having not yet crumbled at the sound of Reagan’s mighty voice, stands between Big Government and The People.

But since government derives its powers from the People, or God in fringey-er precincts, couldn’t The People sort of walk around the wall?

And wasn’t the Berlin problem that unhappy people were trapped on their side of the wall with an unfortunate government, not separated?

 

Bringing Back Barack     

 

Driven from the streets of Jakarta, the boy-statue of Barack Obama has found a home at Obama’s childhood school, or as Fox viewers know, his madrassa.

The Awesome Power Of Social Media® mobilized Indonesian citizen or some kind of outrage at public space being used to honor Obama, with motivations ranging from disapproval of  him to disapproval of his wars.  Despite the latter, American Obama haters joined the fun, although their racist infested site no longer appears on Facebook.

Obama may see the statue on a March visit to Indonesia.

Grant Me This 

It was a gathering of the conservative faithful at CPAC this past weekend, and the search for novel political analogies reached strange new heights.

Among the oddities was Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty, whose doomed Presidential campaign took its first tentative steps off the cliff by reminding the assembled Neo-Confederates    of a past glorius Republican office holder,  U.S. Grant.

Somehow today’s conservative struggle resembles Grant’s grinding Civil War victories over the South, his scandel infested administration, or his occasional lunges towards protecting blacks and Republicans from the Klan in the South. Which is unclear, but Pawlenty has his own upbeat, crackpot version:

“We’re on the side of limited government. And, like Grant, we fight.“

But perhaps not win.  Pawlenty came in fourth in CPAC’s presidential straw poll.

Also up for CPAC recycling,  Margeret Thatcher, AKA The Iron Lady.  Indiana Representative Mike Pence, straw poll fifth place holder, put America’s striking coal miners and Trotskyist local office holders on notice by evoking everyone’s favorite Churchill in drag. Just wait till that North Sea oil saves our ass!

A Romantic View Of History

Pence also entertained the crowd with a musty Ronald Reagan yarn, one where Reagan encountered a magic pipe-fitter.  This proto Joe The Plumber begged Reagan to save tax cuts for the rich, so guys like him could be hired by them.  Pence has trotted out the tale of this wondrous encounter at least twice going back to 2005.

CPAC turned to Glen Beck for insane historical tales with a grain of truth.

Peeing all over John McCain’s myth of a muscular progressive Republican past, Beck rightly called Teddy Roosevelt an interventionist.

But calling Roosevelt a socialist is as insane as labeling Obama one.