Your Presidential Libraries Never Forget 

The world will little remember reaching for the remote, desperate to squelch George Pataki’s insulting reading of the Gettysburg address on the first 9/11 anniversary.

Some feared the vapid inanity of  2002’s commemorations could never be topped, but presidential libraries are doing their part.

Who Am I & Why Am I Here?  

Having apparently run out of things to say about either their nominal subjects or their periods, today’s presidential libraries seek to present themselves as founts of Everyhistory, places to mark any odd occasion with history slapped on.

And try , if possible, to include motorcycles.

At least four presidential libraries will mark the decade since 9/11, each in their own baffling manner.

The Franklin Roosevelt Presidential Library is at least in the same state as one target…but after that the relation gets kind of strained.

They will be displaying a chunk of metal from the World Trade Center wreckage.  

We might have enjoyed a retrospective on our relationship with our gallant Saudi Arabian ally, beginning with FDR’s quiet 1945 interlude with King Saud.

 Bush senior’s Library will also feature World Trade Center metal,

and they’ve rounded up some local rescue workers.

No word if Bandar Bush will show up.

 The Gerald R. Ford Presidential Museum has subcontracted

to the Boy Scouts, who will be hanging about all day.

And yes, they do have a chunk of the World Trade Center.

The Nixon Library will go all out for the memories. Sixteen tons of World Trade Center steel will arrive in ceremony Monday, and be available for public gawking all week. 

Keeping Up With The Kardashian

Tuesday will feature Angie Kardashian, one of the lesser known Kardashians.   Her claim to fame is post-9/11 firehouse cooking, not self-porning.

Let us pray 9/11 souvenirs don’t become the latest presidential library must have object.  At least until they all get their Berlin Wall chunks squared away.

 

  The Reagan Library will be bursting with 9/11 goodness.  The Library will serve as a start point for Simi Valley’s “Freedom Walk,” Donald Rumsfeld‘s effort to mashup the initially popular Afghanistan war together with Iraq in a delightful Freedom Smoothie.

                                                                                                                 Freedom Handshakes? 

The program will feature a 9/11 emergency worker, and they’ve dug up a prize. Out of all the rescue workers on the scene on 9/11, they’ve chosen the Scientologist.

  His “controversial” church got a reputation at the disaster site of proselytizing and sneaking around barricades, but  New York Fireman John McCole was their man on the inside.  

   

 

With her proven record of cult attraction, did the Scientologists get to Nancy Reagan? 

 The Reagan Library never lets a marketing moment pass, as they demonstrated with their 9/11 commemoration page.

 

 You’ll come to honor the dead,  you’ll stay to purchase souvenir Air Force One replicas.

My Country, Writer Wrong  

Before they were [accused] felons….

Barry Landau, “America’s Presidential Historian,” remains in a Baltimore jail and a heap of trouble, accused of pinching presidential documents and ephemera from a Maryland archive.

Such trouble that his lawyer is directing attention to Landau’s alleged partner in crime, emphasising that Barry had none of the loot in his possession when arrested.

Barry Often Wrong 

We can all look forward to Landau’s credibility being tested at trial, the credibility of a man associated with McCarthy and Mafia mouthpiece Roy Cohn and  called a liar by a presidential special counsel, who claimed voicemail sniffer Rupert Murdoch inspired him  to write a book.  The veracity of a man who invents numbers and accounts for his “collections,” who this month shaved three years off a Woodrow Wilson visit to Iowa for a piece of CNN holiday fluff when he wasn’t filling space yammering on about flag desecration [against it!].

Barry sees what others can only imagine.

The”Presidential Historian” and dinner plate collector of the stars rushed to inform New York Post readers, and through them the world, that he alone spotted Tricia Nixon, daughter of  disgraced former President Richard Nixon among Macy’s  shoppers one day.  They, or at least Barry, recalled halcyon days of yore when Trish was married at the White House, an event memorialized in an Executive Mansion hallway, according to Barry.

Landau also shared the  good news that President Barack Obama recently placed a wreath at Nixon’s grave, a trick he managed without the White House or any news organ discovering it.

 

 

A man dressed as former U.S. president Richard Nixon competes …

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Halloween By The Shore

Obama Now One Of The Greats! 

For decades, criminal geniuses have disguised themselves in the act, and an early 90s film from the Patrick Swayze ouvrier sparked a seemingly endless wave of robbers wearing masks of the great. 

Now the current president has joined this proud line, with North Carolina gas station robber donning an Obama mask to do the deed.

Despite the crime wave, this is one of the least troubling parts of the Swayze legacy.  The the late actor was recently offered as an excuse for the multiple has-been-ed Jennifer Grey to appear on the last round up, “Dancing With The Stars.”

…AND SO THE DREAM DIES 

Tuesday’s election primaries yielded many disturbing results, with colonial dress clowns triumphant in Delaware and elsewhere.  But Long Island voters have sensibly turned away from the past, rejecting Christopher Nixon Cox’s bid to untarnish the legacy of his grandfather, Richard Nixon.

Young Nixon Cox had time on his hands after his debut political effort, losing New York State to Obama for McCain by 25%.  Cox tried to go local in pursuit of a House of Representatives seat, ditching his home in Manhattan to claim local residency with the rubes, even announcing an engagement to an under-aged heiress.

All for only a quarter of the vote.