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Nixon & Morris, Together At Last

When A President Does It  

The romance of ex-president criminality thundered onto the silver screen by 1991’s “Pointbreak,” and the nation’s thieves and miscreants continue to tap their inner Patrick Swayze.

Who wouldn’t want to hang out at the beach, rob banks, and be pursued  by that dreamy Keanu Reeves.

The spirit was alive this past weekend in South Bend Indiana, as a man in a Nixon mask knocked off a gas station.

Crime isn’t all rubber masks and easy cash though. Years after Chicago Mob hangers-on hit a Saugatuck Michigan bank dressed as the Exs, the last of the gang has been caught and sentenced.

Getaway driver Carmine Jannece got five years, which may pose problems for the 84 year-old.

Busting Loose 

Big Thinker Stanley Fish gives us the road-map to a George W. Bush recovery: return to splendor by being himself after leaving office.

“…the fact is that he’s likable. I don’t mean on the superficial level of being someone you’d want to have a beer with. It’s deeper than that. He comes across as a basically decent man who is at peace with himself.”

Fish runs down the very best of past comebacks [that Nixon: what a smarty!] and helps Bush by setting the bar kinda low:

“Despite the fun poked at his verbal maladroitness, he is actually quite skillful (certainly more skillful than either Al Gore or John Kerry) in conveying his positions succinctly and persuasively.”

Kick Him Again -  Harder, Harder!   

When Hollywood wants to send a message they reach for a reliable punching bag, and nobody takes a hit like Richard Nixon!

Robert Redford and other luminaries will gather for a reading of the play  “Don’t Blame Me, I Voted For Helen Gahagan Douglas,” a salute to the “Pink Lady”   trampled in Nixon’s climb to the Senate.

A little beside the point after all these decades, but it feels so good they can’t help themselves.

Taking Nixon’s Name In Vain  

Guantanamo resident Khalid Shaikh Mohammed has a problem.  His captors have no intention of ever releasing him, he craves martyrdom in a jerry-rigged court system which may not be able to deliver, and he feels the courtroom artist drew his nose too large.Mohammed’s response has been to take over his own courtroom defense, and of course blaming Jews.

In the course of trying to impeach  Guantanamo trial judge Ralph H. Kohlmann, Mohammed somehow got around to renowned anti-Semite Richard Nixon

“ “Mohamed said to Kohlmann:If you were part of Jerry Falwell or Pat Robertson’s group, then you would not be impartial.” He went on: “Even former President Richard Nixon, in a book called —” at which point he was silenced. After close to two minutes in which we saw the courtroom as a mime, the sound came back and the judge explained that the audio feed was cut because the security officer had mistakenly thought that Mohammed was intending to address topics that could not be addressed in open court. We were left wondering what it was about a Richard Nixon book that was now presumptively classified. We’ll likely never know. “