President Pawlenty’s Northern Exposure: Build The Dang Fence!

Pastures Of Pawlenty Results are pouring in, and former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty’s 2012 campaign launch video is on its way to comedy gold.  Ominous music, quick cutting between historic footage and the fairytale grittiness of handheld cameras [Thanks, Battle Of Algiers!]  Battle of Algiers lend a semblance of urgency to Pawlenty’s flat intonation, but can the Rick Santorum Of The North overcome his roots in America’s Almost Canada? Amidst the familiar 60s crawl – MLK! Moonshots! – Pawlenty’s not afraid to take controversial stands                               He Does Not Care For Communism!     




                                    And, Founder Porn! 

We also get such oddities as a wagon train [in black and white, for authenticity!]



And this foreign interloper. 



 If Tim Pawlenty can’t protect us from Blackberry wielding Canadians, how can he defend America?

Nixon Floats!



A man dressed as former U.S. president Richard Nixon competes …

A man dressed as former U.S. president Richard Nixon competes ...

Halloween By The Shore

Special Humor In Uniform, “It’s Funny Because It’s True” Presidents Day Edition

 The State of Georgia offers this rib-tickler:

Union soldiers died from friendly fire while capturing Jefferson Davis!

An ironic tale from the Civil War is told at Jefferson Davis Memorial Historic Site in Fitzgerald. A month after the war’s end, Confederate President Davis and a few remaining men were camped in south Georgia to continue their fight for the “lost cause.” At dawn, they were surrounded by two independent Union troops who began unknowingly firing at each other. Two Union cavalrymen died in the skirmish and Davis was taken prisoner. .. On Presidents Day, rangers will offer guided tours to all visitors.

This Presidents Day, Still More To Blame Ronald Reagan For!

 Like The Power  

Lame rhyming: it’s not just for brown people anymore!

From the frozen wastes of New Hampshire come fresh new voices of reaction-with a beat!

Yes, Dartmouth has yet again spawned new conservatives, but this time the youngsters are lifting their voices in song, turning that rap music into a weapon for good, not just ho/gangster celebratin’.

The hearty stew that is contemporary conservatism is a murky mix, and would-be hipster reactionaries are doing their part to further confusion.

Reagan youth yearns to enjoy somewhat contemporary rap music with all their friends, while reinforcing belief in all that is right and true.

Now they don’t have to choose!

You can be straight, you were born this way

Thanks to the stern visaged “Young Cons,” today’s youth can turn the former music of the oppressed into hymns of complacency. As we learn from the “Young Cons Anthem” [Actual title!]:

Three things taught me conservative love: Jesus, Ronald Reagan and Atlas Shrugged

These mopes haven’t embraced your more lively versions of that rap. Theirs is more of your drone-y slowpoke rap, where you can make out every syllable because their E-Nun-Ci-A-Tion is about the only energy shown.

But their message is perhaps best absorbed in lyric form, ’cause their prose would stunt a generation:

In a technological era driven fiercely by the main stream media, those who vocalize the true conservative message of individual responsibility, moral absolutes, and small government are slanted as intolerant, racist, “bible and gun clinging”, corporate fat cats who could not care less about the environment nor the well being of their fellow man.”

Or, as others have said,

Gipper’s Delight: The Lads Visit “Fox & Friends” on Hooters Day!

Lincoln Dies Again

Bart Speaks For The Nation 

Ford’s Theatre reopened this year after a vast fundraising and re-do, and they are going all out to mark Presidents Day Week:

Ladies & Gentlemen, Mr. Mark Russell!

Yes, the “comic” songster so lame that even PBS finally dropped him, tickling the ivories once more in Our Nation’s Capital.

Russell was cruelly mocked on The Simpsons “Mr. Lisa Goes To Washington”almost twenty years ago.   He was parodied as the entertainment for Lisa’s DC award banquet, Brother Bart groaning throughout.

This guy is awful!

It was a dead-on parody of Russell’s ghastly tunes    vaguely referencing politics without being in the slightest political.  His own publicists boast that “He began knowing little about politics…

The Russell case demonstrates perhaps the limits of satire.  Long after they’ve been called out by anyone knowing anything,  DC’s Unstoppables continue to roam the landscape, dropping triteness bombs.