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White House Whodunit: Where’s Winston? 

A favorite pastime among Bush revisionists and obsessive Obama haters has been the endlessly recalled departure of  the Churchill bust Bush displayed in the Oval Office in a transparent plea to be compared with the former great.

Imperial Workroom 

Barack Obama came to town and Winnie went, to the shocked disbelief of imperial nostalgists everywhere. Glenn Beck brought Churchill back for stirring addresses emanating from his make believe White House.    The Washington Post faithfully transcribed House Majority Leader Eric Cantor’s alternative Churchill history, in which the Tories somehow were not in power as Hitler prepared his move.

Now, in a shocking development, George W. Bush himself has literally hidden Churchill!  Bush’s new White House portrait [not to be confused with his Portrait Gallery portrait] has been unveiled, and the former President is shown blocking America’s view of the craggy visage we  crave.

Saved for public viewing is the image over Bush’s right shoulder, the cowboy painting he has gone to extraordinary lengths to mislabel and misrepresent in order to dress up his lame “A Charge To Keep” theme.

 Orly Orly Incoming!   

Obama citizenship denialist Orly Taitz’s California Senate campaign has birthed an advertisment, presumably to gussy up her crackpot image. Our Orly’s countless legal battles to oust the President have come up against deficits of law and facts, so she’s taken the proven path of sectarians everywhere: running for office to get her message across.

And what prime crazy it is! At some point in this delusional campaign cavalcade she veers from parochial California concerns to return to her one true love, Barack Obama, denouncing his Founder Tramplin‘ ways.

Taitz’s fanciful legal reasoning serves her well here, as she appears to borrow  a copyrighted image of Obama literally torching the Constitution from the sparkling world of Jon McNaughton, the Thomas Kinkade of “constitutional” cranks.

Wouldn’t Dewy, Pixie-Infested Glens Be More Soothing? 

I fear the heat of battle may be causing Taitz to lose perspective. Her web site boasts:

“GREAT NEWS! DR. ORLY TAITZ INCREASES HER LEAD OVER ALL OF CA CANDIDATES,”

…over an article showing she isn’t even the lead Republican in the race.  And  she’s taken to shopping for activist judges to knock her opponents off the ballot, like certain Chicago Thugs we know.

Marked Down  

All the smart kids agree: Romney is the Republican John Kerry, the GOP’s cross to bare until their inevitable defeat in November.  Versions have circulated since at least 2008.

What this line forgets is how close Kerry came in 2004, despite his charmlessness.  Kerry got more total votes for president than any previous Democrat, eight million more than the equally charisma-challenged Al Gore. Bush won by hauling in every exurban mega-church goer Karl Rove could find, a dash of anti gay marriage referendums, plus some voter suppression secret sauce.  Obama won in 2008 with his own epic turnout machine.

Republicans Determined To Strike In Us  

Who knows this far out, but where is it written that unlovable mopes can’t get ’em to the polls?

Dick Gets Off A Good One  

Nixon post-presidential kitten with a whip Monica Crowley  is cracking wise, favoring America with her lighter side.  Crowley normally spews forth  venomous chatter for the thoughtful conservatives of Fox News, but apparently views her Twitter feed as a fount of humor.

Crowley’s comic career began with Richard Nixon’s political death, as he used his New Jersey exile to emit an endless series of ponderous tomes.

Book Learning   

While decent people looked away, hoping Nixon would slink into the shadows from which he came, Crowley saw opportunity. She wormed her way into the great man’s shrunken entourage, assisting on several of his awful books. Some saw her comic potential early.

That, the involuntary kindness of strangers,  “striking” blond hair, and she was on her way.

Crowley’s latest cutups concern Rush Limbaugh muse Sandra Fluke.  Fluke’s engagement has gotten some notice, and Crowley did not disappoint:

 Some apparently failed to see Mo-Cro’s sly wit, requiring her to lament the Professional Left’s tone deafness: 

Castles In Dispair   

The Times’ “Home” section usually sticks to house porn of the bold and the beautiful.  The trouble comes when they wander into check-able facts.

The paper’s housing survey of America’s junior executives, the governors, revealed the shocking truth that many of them do not care for the Victorian glam of their official residences.  I can’t speak to other cases, but almost everything in The Times’ two paragraphs on the Reagan’s Sacramento mansion debacle is wrong.

The article says

“Jerry Brown, who was criticized for not moving into state digs during his first stint as governor of California in the 1970s, turned out to be ahead of his time. When he returned to the post decades later, the mansion was gone — sold off to save money. (Mr. Brown now rents a 1,450-square-foot apartment in Sacramento.)”

As more “newsy” New York Times sections have reported in the past, the Reagans started this cavalcade shortly after taking office, refusing to live in the 19th Century splendor of California’s Governor’s Mansion and hurling California governors into decades of homelessness rootlessness.

Brown’s successor lived in another rental gifted by thoughtful moguls, as did his successors.  When Arnold Shwarzenegger came to town the owner of the Reaganesque mansion made a failed push to sell it to the state, recalled in this intermittently working slide tour.

And now Jerry’s back, in a “loft” again granted by providential millionaires.