Laura Bush: The Betty- fication

A Cry For Help  bush-lauras-claw-marks.jpg

Laura Bush’s glazed look was much commented upon while her husband served as president.  Now the shocking truth can be revealed:  Laura Bush is actually drug and plastic surgery ravaged Betty Ford!

A Ford In Her Future  bush-laura-statue.jpg    ford-betty.jpg


Texas sculptor Scott Sustek is creating a  statue for Austin’s Laura Bush Library, under construction in the state capitol. bush-laura-statue-calipers.jpg  The former First Lady posed for him and submitted to measurements, and she and her staff appear to have approved his Ford-ifying.

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Washington Re-Worked

Dead White European Males, Monumental Addition 

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The Washington Post
marks President’s Day Eve profiling Chicago artist Kerry James Marshall, who offers an entertaining add-on to the Washington Monument.

What finer place to commemorate Nat Turner’s  turner-nat-slave-rebellion.jpg  slave rebellion?

The sly artist told the Post that  Barack Obama’s election  is all well and good…

But the moment that Nat Turner appears on a postage stamp…is more of a turning point.”

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This President’s Day, Stay Home!

As You Were  presidential_address.gif

A hardy perennial as President’s Day approaches is the nation’s great editorial voices lamenting the sad spectacle of Americans swarming the malls rather than making pilgrimage to stately presidential homes and memorials.

The economy should knock out retail worries this year, and pilgrimages have their own troubles.

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President’s Day’s origin, such as it is, lies in Seventies legislation to standardize Federal holidays and shove as many as possible into three day weekends.

In days of yore February was the setting for George Washington’s Birthday Day sales, as well as Congress’s annual reading of his Farewell Address.  That part of the country which won the Civil War [you know who you are] observed Lincoln’s Birthday. Congress sort of fudged on what they were doing, apostrophes have wandered, and for elementary school civics and retail purposes the thing has become a catchall day for all presidents.

Let’s go to the shrines!  presidential-libraries-us-map.jpg

The pan-presidential holiday has opened the field to our unique American marketing genius.  Every crossing of the road once graced by a former Great spruces up for the expected masses.

Many of them are house museums, where  generations of captured audience school children learn the furniture preferences of former Americans, insofar as we can reconstruct them.

Woodrow Wilson’s Augusta Georgia childhood home is typical of the genre’s limitations.  This President’s Day it will feature free admission and actors playing Wilson and spouses.  Americans may never know how Wilson led us in war, launched massive repression of war opponents, or cemented segregation in Washington DC, but thanks to re-enactors we will know he married twice!

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What ever is the point of these places?

Their guardians seem to miss it. The William McKinley complex in Canton Ohio is typical.

mckinley-administration-promises.jpg   The McKinley era had real consequence, launching us into an exciting new century of imperial adventure, defeating populism at home, and not least boosting the career of McKinley’s successor Teddy Roosevelt, role model for generations of reactionaries who wished to be seen as both forceful and thoughtful.

You’d never know it in Canton, but for the size of his tomb.

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The McKinley museum has run out or never had anything to say about our martyred president, now featuring a science museum,  model trains, and fire-poles for the kids.

Franklin Roosevelt launched our glorious tradition of pharaoh-fication, famously parking the first presidential library in his yard and having himself buried there for the full experience.

The special local-ness of these little bits o’ greatness scattered over the landscape are celebrated by America’s leading purveyor of thoughtful presidential historian mush, mccullough-with-presicc960.jpg David  McCullough:

” it is valuable for anyone trying to understand the life of a particular president should come to the place that produced that human being, where his memory is part of the story of that place.“

 

Stirring words, except Reagan’s location is an accident of real estate after Stanford, where he had no ties, turned him down. Nixon crawled back to Yorba Linda after numerous rejections elsewhere, and Bush Sr is in College Station for ideological congruity, not any local ties.

The great tradition is coming to its logical end at the FDR Library, where the seventy-five year old structure’s roof leaks, the wiring is shot, and damp threatens the Roosevelt papers. A $17 million fix is requested.

Just why this national collection of randomly sited mini-archives must be maintained and expanded into perpetuity even as they are pilfered from within is unclear.

The Bush Library’s Northern Neighbors: Their Lot In Life

   Room For No View

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Expectant neighbors of the exciting Bush/SMU-Library-To-Be are thrilled  to learn that they’ll have a parking lot smack up against their houses, north across SMU Boulevard from the Library proper.

Responding to their outcries, George W. Bush Presidential Library Foundation President Mark Langdale pledged to remain noncommittal:

  “We want to be responsive to their concerns to the extent that we can.’’ 

Everybody Loves Lincoln!

Fidel Makes A Stop, 1959  lincoln-fidel.jpg