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Kennedyesque, Or Merely Kennedyish? The son Jack Kennedy never had now alleges conspiracies he can’t explain.

Jack Worthington has a problem. Having outed himself as a possible illegitimate child of John F. Kennedy, and with Vanity Fair casting doubt on his story, the Canadian resident has been reduced to throwing out crackpot theories about how other Kennedy stories are being circulated to distract attention from his fascinating self.

That’s his version of the Dallas District Attorney miscellaneous assassination file release.

Worthington told The Vancouver Sun:

“I think anyone would have to question the timing…It’s just my hunch that this DA decided to come clean partially because he [or the investigators] feared something would be exposed by the Vanity Fair story.”

Good luck on that Jack!

Worthington offered many delights before his story sank, not least of which was the triumphant return of ex George Bush sister-in-law Sharon Bush, former wife of Bush family Wastrel whore-hound Neil Bush. The former Worthington girlfriend played an auxiliary role in his negotiations with the magazine.

Blame Canada

Turn That Frown Upside Down!

Amidst planning parking, demolition and President Bush’s Image Lab, Bush Library Host & SMU President Gerald Turner told the Dallas Morning News he’s found a special benefit for all of Dallas: easing what he thoughtfully calls the “Kennedy Issue.”

“But underneath all the details, he said, the library will provide global visibility for the school and for a city where the assassination of John. F. Kennedy remains entrenched in the memories of many…”A positive element … will be Dallas’ relationship with the presidency of the United States on the other side of the Kennedy issue,” he said”

In other happy image rehab news, George W. Bush Presidential Library Foundation President Mark Langdale says Karl Rove has emerged from his subpeona dodging long enough to render still more service to the nation.

“Karl’s pretty busy doing a lot of things in his private life right now, but he’s a critical resource about what happened in the administration, and he has a lot of good ideas about programming and positioning,” said Mr. Langdale”

And former White House counsel, CIA tape destruction bystander and Contempt of Congress scofflaw Harriet Miers is helping out with the Library’s lawyering.

Dallas Do-Over?

Theatre of the Stars

Writers never tire of linking politicians to pop culture. It’s favorite lists, free association and bad jokes, with the patina of History.

Peter “Not TV’s Scamp” Bart steps forward in Variety to do the honors this election season. Bart mobilizes material he appears to have been working on before many candidate’s recent demise, so his Romney and Edwards jokes still go forth to educate and amuse.

It’s a classic setup: candidate X wins and the nation needs to know: what movies will they watch?

“With Super Tuesday finally behind us, the presidential candidates hopefully will take a breather, perhaps even catch a movie. After all, the winner will soon have that delicious perk, the White House screening room, at his (or her) disposal.”

Bart moves rapidly from unproven thesis to generalization to factoid, to ignoring what a fairy tale Casablanca was.

“All this is relevant because, in the past, the filmgoing habits of previous presidents have provided a good indicator of their true character. Franklin D. Roosevelt was a sucker for any Disney toon, but took his movies seriously enough to arrange a screening of Casablanca just before leaving for the Casablanca Conference of 1943.”

There’s even a Hollywood Ending:

“For the record, the White House’s biggest movie fan was, of all people, Richard Nixon, who liked “Patton” best of all, screening it three times during the secret bombing of Cambodia. Nixon screened some 500 films during his White House stay…”

…and then he closes with a classic dirty joke involving Pat Nixon.

Martha Joynt Kumar Goes to White House

Martha Joynt Kumar is an actual scholar of White House operations, and she reviewed “All the Presidents’ Movies” when the made for Bravo documentary’s producers claimed it was to be released on DVD.

Kumar’s controversial thesis:

“Presidents spend a fair amount of time watching movies and using them to entertain others“

She does extract some fun facts. This version of White House cinephilia has Jimmy Carter topping Nixon’s supposed 500 films by viewing 579. ” That works out to an average of one every two and a half days.”

National Malaise can only explain so much.

Everything I Know I Learned From Julie Andrews

“…the president sometimes watched movies prior to important meetings. Twice that was the case with The Sound of Music. Reagan watched the movie the night before a 1983 Williamsburg economic summit with governors and prior to a 1986 meeting with Gorbachev in Geneva. “

Julie Andrews’ plucky demeanor may have served Reagan well, but the Geneva Summit happened in 1985.

Reagan may have applied Andrew’s methods in other contexts.

In “My favorite Things” Andrew’s character “simply remembers.”

 

“When I’m feeling sad

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don’t feel so bad”

The man who confused seeing film of German death camps with being there screened “The Killing Fields” at the White House. He was apparently untroubled, viewing an account of “Democratic Kampuchea” while his administration supported it’s murderous remaints in their war on the Vietnamese installed Hung Sen government. Reagan’s administration [and Carter’s before them] viewed the genocidal Pol Pot as a useful stick against Vietnam.

Church Chat

Confident statements by Southern Methodist University aside, the proposed Bush Library might yet sink.

SMU Perkins School of Theology assistant professor of church history Valerie A. Karras has a detailed run through of potential barriers to the Bush Library in the SMU Daily Campus. She says the University can’t take action without Methodist Church approval, that the proposed Bush Institute would violate SMU’s charter, and might kill it’s tax exempt status.

Karras says according to SMU’s Articles of Incorporation…

“campus property can be sold or leased only “for religious or educational purposes [or for student housing].” Given the explicitly partisan and ideological nature of the proposed Bush institute, this provision raises two huge issues: (1) the tax-exempt status of the university, and, underlying this issue, (2) the inconsistency of the proposed institute with legitimately educational purposes. These issues arise because, according to Marvin Bush and Don Evans in their cover letter to the Bush Library committee’s call for proposals, part of the mission of the proposed Bush institute is to be to “further the domestic and international goals of the Bush Administration.”

And she says we’ve seen this film before.

“The Bush Library committee’s proposal is not the first time that politics has tried to piggyback on academia. In fact, very similar proposals were made to Harvard and Stanford for independent, ideological institutes to accompany presidential libraries honoring Presidents Kennedy and Reagan, respectively. Both universities categorically rejected these proposals. Will SMU’s and the SCJ’s commitment to their own legal documents and binding internal rules and, most importantly, to SMU’s academic integrity really be less than that of Harvard and Stanford?”

Stanford’s Field of Reagan Dreams

Camelot Reloaded

GunsAmerica is taking the bold step of evoking That Kennedy Mystique in order to sell guns. For a mere $295,00.00 you may own the gun that lost the West.

“THE M16 THAT STARTED IT ALL
…Without a doubt the most famous and most documented Armalite/Colt M16 in existence, serial no 106 manufactured in 1959 (the 7th production gun) and of course the earliest known gun to exist. Yes, this is the gun that Gen Curtis LeMay shot the coconuts and melons with at the cocktail party and then turned to the Cooper-McDonald rep and said,”I want 10,000 of them and I want them yesterday!”. It is said this gun was also shot by Pres Kennedy (off the Presidential Yacht), Batista, MacNamarra, Diem, and a host of other important people. Traveling to Viet Nam twice, its history is part of America’s History, and I feel there is no other gun in existence as important as this firearm – at least as far as 20th century military firearms are concerned.”

From “It is said” to “I feel” they are giving themselves some wiggle room on the storied history they present. And they need it.

Kennedy is reported to have had two M16s, but Batista fled Havana on New Years Day 1959, and would be unlikely to need an M16 in exile.

Something about Guns ‘N Presidents shoots the facts all to hell. An auctioneer recently sold a pistol supposedly once owned by Richard Nixon, with a myth of origin thats false on it’s face.

From James D. Julia Auctioneers:

“Very rare cased engraved Colt 3rd Model London Dragoon, call 44, SN13 (cylinder replaced), originally belonging at one time to former President Richard Nixon. (Paul Sorrell Collection) Sold for $74,750… Paul had been told when he purchased the gun that it had originally come from a young lawyer by the name of Richard Nixon who later went on to become President of the United States. The details of which Julia discovered just before the sale. Sometime in the 1950’s, a Swedish gunsmith while in New York got a moving traffic violation. He went to the Nixon law firm to handle the matter, and in a later personal conversation with Nixon, Nixon discovered that he was a gun enthusiast; he took him back to his apartment and virtually gave him this rare gun as a gift.”

Except for the fact that in the 50s Nixon was a Senator then Vice President, not living in New York, and not practicing law, it all could be true. Or so I’m told.