Lessen History

Ronald Reagan, Praise Be Upon Him  reagan-scout-salutes.JPG

Who’s the silent partner, the ghost who walks at Republican presidential debates?

You know where this is going.

Talking Points Memo looks at the numbers, and finds Ronald Reagan way out in front in GOPer presidential debate mentions, with living fossil of the Reagan Era Newt Gingrich in a breathtaking name-dropping lead.

Read All About It: Republican Teleprompter Tall Tales

 Demand Your Prompt Refund!

 What with the tedious actual issues involved in federal budget fights, don’t we all need time to laugh?Step forward, Representative Scott WomackScreen shot 2010-12-12 at 17.07.38   , sponsor of a World Net Daily dog-whistler to save the American taxpayer by defunding White House teleprompters.

Now tragically withdrawn, the bill still serves a host of uses, reminding the faithful that Obama can’t really talk good without mechanical assistance, that unlike his rough-hewn predecessor Obama is a fancy boy fraud.  

President Pawlenty’s Northern Exposure: Build The Dang Fence!

Pastures Of Pawlenty Results are pouring in, and former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty’s 2012 campaign launch video is on its way to comedy gold.  Ominous music, quick cutting between historic footage and the fairytale grittiness of handheld cameras [Thanks, Battle Of Algiers!]  Battle of Algiers lend a semblance of urgency to Pawlenty’s flat intonation, but can the Rick Santorum Of The North overcome his roots in America’s Almost Canada? Amidst the familiar 60s crawl – MLK! Moonshots! – Pawlenty’s not afraid to take controversial stands                               He Does Not Care For Communism!     




                                    And, Founder Porn! 

We also get such oddities as a wagon train [in black and white, for authenticity!]



And this foreign interloper. 



 If Tim Pawlenty can’t protect us from Blackberry wielding Canadians, how can he defend America?

Tim Pawlenty, Buried In Grant’s Tomb

Grant Me This 

It was a gathering of the conservative faithful at CPAC this past weekend, and the search for novel political analogies reached strange new heights.

Among the oddities was Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty, whose doomed Presidential campaign took its first tentative steps off the cliff by reminding the assembled Neo-Confederates  IMG_4498  of a past glorius Republican office holder,  U.S. Grant.

Somehow today’s conservative struggle resembles Grant’s grinding Civil War victories over the South, his scandel infested administration, or his occasional lunges towards protecting blacks and Republicans from the Klan in the South. Which is unclear, but Pawlenty has his own upbeat, crackpot version:

We’re on the side of limited government. And, like Grant, we fight.

But perhaps not win.  Pawlenty came in fourth in CPAC’s presidential straw poll.

Also up for CPAC recycling,  Margeret Thatcher, AKA The Iron Lady.  Indiana Representative Mike Pence, straw poll fifth place holder, put America’s striking coal miners and Trotskyist local office holders on notice by evoking everyone’s favorite Churchill in drag. Just wait till that North Sea oil saves our ass!

A Romantic View Of History http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_n-njTteDnPw/RgzPAxutVJI/AAAAAAAAAak/_PjuKgEEHQs/s400/reagan-thatcher.jpg

Pence also entertained the crowd with a musty Ronald Reagan yarn, one where Reagan encountered a magic pipe-fitter.  This proto Joe The Plumber begged Reagan to save tax cuts for the rich, so guys like him could be hired by them.  Pence has trotted out the tale of this wondrous encounter at least twice going back to 2005.

CPAC turned to Glen Beck for insane historical tales with a grain of truth.

Peeing all over John McCain’s myth of a muscular progressive Republican past, Beck rightly called Teddy Roosevelt an interventionist.

But calling Roosevelt a socialist is as insane as labeling Obama one.


Special Humor In Uniform, “It’s Funny Because It’s True” Presidents Day Edition

 The State of Georgia offers this rib-tickler:

Union soldiers died from friendly fire while capturing Jefferson Davis! http://llamabutchers.mu.nu/archives/jefferson%20davis%20caught%20in%20a%20dress.jpg

An ironic tale from the Civil War is told at Jefferson Davis Memorial Historic Site in Fitzgerald. A month after the war’s end, Confederate President Davis and a few remaining men were camped in south Georgia to continue their fight for the “lost cause.” At dawn, they were surrounded by two independent Union troops who began unknowingly firing at each other. Two Union cavalrymen died in the skirmish and Davis was taken prisoner. .. On Presidents Day, rangers will offer guided tours to all visitors.