Remembering history the way they wished it had been
Crime Seen 
Rick “Re-Animator” Barber triumphantly mobilized George Washington’s ghost in the Alabama 2nd House District campaign, and now our first Republican president has been summoned to the cause. 
Plus Holocaust victims! 
| Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â |
 |
 |
Over The Top don’t begin to describe it. I think we know where Rick is going with this:
Must Keep Straight Face 
Would be Republican congressional candidate Rick “Ric” Barber is lashing out against oppression the only way he knows how: summoning the bewigged ghosts of unspecified 18th Century greats to join him in war on the federal government.
Just how this founder-iffic militia uprising is to be coordinated through his Congressional franking privilege is unclear, but Rick wants you to know he’s not gonna beg for the job:
“As a successful small business owner, Rick Barber doesn’t need a Congressman’s salary.“
 Rick has already scored the coveted endorsement of renowned Internet crazy lady Pamella Geller, pausing briefly in her long twilight struggle against  “female non-Muslim sex slaves“
  Adams Family Now               
From Palm Beach, a sunny place for shady people, comes a presidential offspring bulletin.
Beloved folk hero Rush Limbaugh has married a descendant of famed one-termer John Adams. Guests for the hillbilly heroin fan‘s fourth traditional marriage included animal-human hybrid James Carville and noted pubic hair detective Clarance Thomas.
The Thomas invitation may be tempting fate. Himself divorced, the Supreme Court Justice presided over Limbaugh’s third wedding. Â Other divorced guests present included Karl Rove, Rudy Giuliani, Fred Thompson and Tom Watson.
The bride’s provenance raises the disturbing prospect that Rush might be present for the long dreamed of unvieling of Washington’s own all Adams memorial.
                                           
Behold These Goofs 
Unable to stage signing the “Mount Vernon Statement” at, um, Mount Vernon, massed conservatives held their event instead at the swanky Collingwood Library & Museum, a former dinner theatre venue on property 
 once owned by George Washington and now available for wedding rentals.
Mount Vernon wouldn’t let them hold a political event on its grounds, so the free marketeers turned to their weapon of choice, and hired a hall.
Fox did its ungrammatical best to hang onto that fresh Founding Fathers smell:
The New Nation/new grammar enthusiasm got the better of the Statement-os as well. Their classy yellow fake parchmentie web page recalls “selfevident truths.”
Further bizarre historical analogies came in the Statement-os comparison of themselves to the signers of the Sharon Statement, a storied conservative event held at William F. Buckley’s Connecticut estate sixty years ago. What mileage they achieve from Eisenhower era ties to a dead pot-smoking Iraq war opponent is unclear.
No Pillars To Post 
First In War, First In Peace, & Not On The Tip Of Sarah Palin’s TongueÂ
  The Secret Word Is “Washington”  
