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Action Jackson, Generally Disreputable   

A future President’s lynching of two Britons for aiding slave escapes is the latest defense offered for the ill-starred Guantanamo military tribunals.

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  In a since withdrawn legal argument, prosecutors pointed to Bloody Andrew Jackson’s energetic response to Georgia slaves escaping to the Seminole Indians in then Spanish Florida. 

   The Seminole tribe objected to being compared with al Qaeda, and escaped slave descendants might have something to say as well.

 

   Defending the military tribunerals’ ever shape-shifting “procedures” was a challenge even before the Pentagon took to enlisting slave catchers as freedom’s legions.

 Demand Your Prompt Refund!

 What with the tedious actual issues involved in federal budget fights, don’t we all need time to laugh?Step forward, Representative Scott Womack   , sponsor of a World Net Daily dog-whistler to save the American taxpayer by defunding White House teleprompters.

Now tragically withdrawn, the bill still serves a host of uses, reminding the faithful that Obama can’t really talk good without mechanical assistance, that unlike his rough-hewn predecessor Obama is a fancy boy fraud.  

Any Number Can Play!  Eager Republican National Committee beavers want you to send birthday greetings to the ghost of Ronald Reagan, and appear to be shunting them onto the Twitter without editing.Pranksters have already had at it, and you can join the conversation here.How do you remember Ronald Reagan?

 Improbable, But True!

All Wet  

Legendary New York Times’  book reviewer Michiko Kakutani [aka “the stupidest person in New York“] is the latest to fall for one of the oldest bricks in Ronald Reagan’s Wall of Cheese, the lifeguard story.

In the course of reviewing Ron Reagan’s auspiciously timed memoir, she retails without questioning young Ron Reagan’s recycling of a tale. Specifically, the self-generated legend that young Ronald Reagan saved 77 people from drowning in the Rock River at Dixon Illinois.  In seven years, for neat symmetry.

Where does this nicely divisible number come from? Everywhere and nowhere. By all accounts young Ronald worked summers as a lifeguard during high school and college.  Aside from providing him a head start on skin cancer little is known beyond his later stories. Your more careful accounts of Reagan’s adventures among the “boyency challenged” speak of him being “credited” with saving 77 lives.  More gushing accounts, including his museum foundation‘s,  add the definitive proof that he claimed to have carved a notch on a log every time he plucked someone from  the turgid waters.

Thanks to Deroy Murdock recycling from a different Ron Reagan tome we know Reagan saved a black [can you believe it!] child from drowning in California, making up for all those nasty cracks about Martin Luther King. Truly insane life-guardist Paul Kengor extends Reagan’s life saving powers to Des Moines and beyond, because after all,”… it’s not an exaggeration to draw a straight line from Reagan at the Rock River to Reagan at the White House”